Gotcha! (almost)

I fell into a TV show last night.  Doesn’t matter which one.  From a distance, and when you get really close, they all look a like. It’s only in that middle distance that they can fool you.

It really isn’t like me to fall into one.  I’m usually cautious, even suspicious, around them.  This one, though, must have been soft around the edge, or unusually slippery, or something.  I was being careful, just tippy-toeing around the edges when, and I don’t know what happened, I was suddenly in the middle of it.

At first, you can’t tell when you’re in the middle of one of these things, because it seems like real life.  It seems like something interesting and fun.  Something that might be worth your time.

So, I couldn’t really tell at first.  There were men and women, some were police officers, some murderers, some kidnappers, and all of them were handsome or beautiful and had perfect teeth.  The cars were all new, and there was always plenty of parking.  There were computers that could find the most arcane and personal information with just a few keystrokes.  All the conversation was smooth, witty and fluent.  No pauses for thought, no ‘um’ or ‘er’.  No one belched, or blew their nose.  Someone may have farted, but no one grinned or grimaced, so I’m not sure.  There was amusing banter, DNA samples, all the apartments that were neat and perfectly decorated.  Very similar to real life, but only similar.  A lot like it.  Resembling it. But not it.

When I realized I was enmeshed in something that was a lot like life, but wasn’t actually it, I panicked, started thrashing around, gasping for reality.  Luckily, my thrashing found a rectangular object with a bunch of mysterious buttons on it.  Buttons like ‘CBL’ and ‘CH+’       and ‘VOL-‘ and ‘Mode’.  I’ve seen all of these before, and I know that they are somehow important, but no one has ever taken the time to explain them to me. There are manuals, of course, but, well, you know.

Fortunately, there was a big, bright red button on the top of the rectangular thing with a broken circle on it.  It looked sort of like the sign for handicapped parking or handicapped bathrooms, and that seemed right for me. Spending too much time in this world could make one handicapped, and maybe the button was some kind of virtual escape route.

So I pressed it, and wow.  Talk about immediate reinforcement.  The TV show I had unfortunately, accidentally, inadvertently and through no fault of my own fallen into vanished like Snow White into a black hole.

Poof!  Gone.  You could’t even call it fade to black, more like an implosion to black.   And I was back in this world, a world of dust mites, rust, inconsistent lighting, sticky locks, frost on the windshield, flat tires, root canal, male pattern baldness, ring around the collar, and all the other inconveniences of life that make it real.  You know, real.

I’ll be more careful in the future.  I’ll wear a life jacket, and never sit in the living room alone.  It’s just not worth the risk.


About gmurray921
Recently retired (almost), frequently cranky, consistently awed by people places and things. Everyone has a point of view, and apparently this is mine. I welcome your comments on anything here you like, or don't like. But if you have no reaction, keep it to yourself.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: